Just A Dream
by YourFairytale
Summary: What if he never comes back? What if he's gone for so long that when he does come back he doesn't want me? What if he's different? What if he gets hurt? What if he gets taken and held captive? What if he dies? These were the questions that raced through Kurt Hummel's mind every minute of every day. (Kind of character death?)


_What if he never comes back? What if he's gone for so long that when he does come back he doesn't want me? What if he's different? What if he gets hurt? What if he gets taken and held captive? What if we don't get to have kids? What if we do have kids and they have to live without their daddy? What if he dies? _

These were the questions that raced through Kurt Hummel's mind every minute of every day, just repeating over and over like a broken record, never stopping. Soon Hunter would be gone. To say Kurt was nervous would be the understatement of the year; he was _terrified._ He and Hunter had been together for what felt like forever and Kurt was not even close to being ready to let go even a little. He was scared of being alone again and mostly just scared of losing the love of his life. He tried not to ruin what time they had left together with tears and his worries, but Hunter knew exactly what was behind that fake smile and distant eyes. Honestly, he was scared, too.

….

_Three days, five hours and seventeen minutes._

_That's how much time was standing between him and his husband. Kurt was so excited and the nervousness he used to feel wore off a little everyday. Hunter had been gone for seven months; it was too long. Sure, Kurt could appreciate the fact that it wasn't as long as some of the other soldier's family's have to wait. But still it was far too long. He couldn't wait to see him. He couldn't wait to run to him, jump into his arms and cling to him. He couldn't wait to kiss him and tell him how much he loved him. He planned for them to spend the first whole day and night in bed with just holding each other. That's what he ached for the most. He missed his husband's strong arms around him…just being with him._

_Three days, two hours and three minutes is when there was a knock on his door. Normally his stomach would drop and he would expect the worst waiting for him behind that door. But the excitement of seeing Hunter so soon and the "Nothing can go wrong. He's coming home. He said he was coming home." thoughts hushed the bad thoughts and the nightmares. Which is why he was really shocked when he opened the door to see a man in a uniform."Mr. Hummel-Clarington?" The man asked._

_Kurt nodded slowly, looking at the man with wide eyes, not saying a thing._

_The sympathetic look on the older gentleman's face when he nodded made Kurt's heart stop and when the man handed him an envelope, everything got really quiet and it was like the world stopped spinning and everything around him came to a halt. There was a sinking feeling inside his stomach. He didn't even hear the man when give his condolences or notice him leave. He was in such shock that he couldn't even cry at that moment, he just stood there in the door way, staring at the envelope in his hand, his jaw slightly dropped. He felt nauseous. Kurt knew what was inside that envelope. He took in a sharp, shaky breath, biting his lip as he opened the letter._

_All he saw was _

_"Your husband"_

_"Hunter Hummel-Claringtion"_

_"Killed"_

_He knew there was more to the letter but that's what his eyes and mind focused on. Kurt leaned back against the door frame, sliding down and sitting on the ground in between the front porch and their living room. His hands shook as he continued to read the letter over and over and over, tears finally flowing down his cheeks. He clutched the letter to his chest, bringing his knees up and leaning his forehead against them as he broke down, practically hyperventilating there on his front porch with the font door wide open. _

_Once he focused back into the world, he noticed he had been sitting there crying for two hours, the sun had long since set. He picked himself up from the ground, tears still flowing down his face as he shut the door and went up to their bed, clinging tightly to Hunter's pillow all night long. He didn't cry anymore that night. He didn't sleep, either. He just held onto Hunter's pillow staring off into space._ This can't be happening to me.

….

_Not long after that was the funeral. Kurt sat there in a daze as he stared at the casket that held his husband, blocking out the sympathetic words and sounds and sobs that came from the people around him, ignoring the "poor Kurt" looks he was getting. To be honest he didn't even know how he had gotten there; he had been in this daze ever since that day he got the letter. It was like the world and everybody in it was just rushing around him and he was in slow motion. He felt like he couldn't breath half of the time and he had cried for days._

_He was right there. And Kurt couldn't touch him, kiss him, or tell him how much he loved him. Because he wasn't really there. He was gone. He was never going to see Hunter again. He got up and walked slowly over to the casket, placing his hand on it and running it slowly along the soft wood. Kurt brought his hand up to his lips, kissing it before placing it against the casket again. "Why-" He opened his mouth to talk but a soft sob caught in his throat. He sniffled, taking a breath before trying again. "I-I love you, Hunt." He said, his voice coming out as just a helpless whimper._

_Seven months, seven days and three hours. _

_He was supposed to be holding his husband tonight. Not sleeping alone._

….

Kurt opened his eyes with a gasp, tears streaming down his face, it took him a moment to realize the warmth pressed up against his back and the strong arms that were around him was actually Hunter. He closed his eyes again, placing his hand on the strong one laying on his stomach. Hunter tightened his arms around Kurt once he felt him awake. "Kurt," He whispered softly against his fiance's ear, he had noticed Kurt crying in his sleep and quickly moved to hold him. This wasn't the first time this had happened; he knew what Kurt was dreaming. "Kurt it's okay. I'm here."

Kurt sniffled, nodding, trying to stop the tears that were still falling down his face, but they only fell harder in relief as Hunter spoke to him. He had never been so happy to see him or hear his voice. He turned quickly in Hunter's embrace and wrapped his arm tightly around his fiance, burying his face against his chest, sobbing softly. "Shhh, babe, it's okay. I'm here. It's okay. Shh." Hunter murmured softly, rubbing Kurt's back soothingly.

Turning his head so his cheek was pressed against Hunter's chest, he sniffled, nodding as he took comfort in feeling the younger man in his arms, and hearing his heartbeat. "I love you," He whispered unevenly.

"I love you, too." Hunter whispered, nodding a little as he placed a few soft kisses against Kurt's head, holding him closer, whispering 'I'm here, I'm here, it's okay' over and over again. Kurt sniffled again, tightening his arms around Hunter, clinging to him for dear life. Taking a deep breath, his sobs subsiding a little, his heart beating fast, he was so relieved that it was in fact, just as dream.


End file.
